My todo list is a mess, but whatever. I’m hoping to get my shooter game done, which like every project I grew much larger than originally planned and progress is painfully slow.

I’ve been applying for jobs for months using the fanciest resume I am capable of, but yet it seems to be “disagreeable people need not apply”; if you are unwilling to make medical decisions to appease a political situation HALF of the programming jobs just declare they won’t accept you, the number was probably was 90% at some point and who knows how many still ask at the end of an interview and will treat it as a red flag. I think this was always the case hr likes sheep and therefore look out for metrics, a willingness to say a ritualistic “My biggest flaw is that I just work too hard”, a college degree, etc. are all probably to decrease the riskiness of the candidate by finding people who avoid conflict.

Ignoring of course that its a spectrum for a reason. Slowly getting worse and I think it crossed a line somewhere recently, and it may never go back, will I ever get a job where there’s an hr filtering process when I’m ever so slightly inclined to walk out of interviews where they ask me to make medical decisions politically? I know I’m a shit liar, surely my disdain will always be palpable.

I signed up on fiver and tried to get a group open-source game going. Both seem to be going exactly nowhere. I don’t really want to race to the bottom of 5$ for a day of programming, so I put 100$ as unlikely as that is, and also fiverr tells me they showed my ad to 1 person, and I can’t find it when searching for it.

Maybe I shouldn’t have tied my fate with this tiny language few have heard of, and it would be going much better for me if I just learned more c++. Maybe college that stupid institution; is extra overvalued in a college town… known for this field and I really should try 100 miles in any direction for jobs, maybe being an atheist in Utah was a bad move and 90% of jobs go to people in their ward, there was a “must be Mormon” in an ad just unironically and openly, shouldn’t that violate inclusivity policies of job sites? I wonder how empty the state of mediocrity is I feel like no one has even asked for proof of skills.